My character is still naked. When I started my latest manuscript, I didn’t think he’d have to be naked for quite this long. Admittedly, it’s causing some funny mayhem. But, it’s at this point when I start questioning if this is the story I should be writing. Will I be able to finish it? Will it be any good?
I know my writing process now, so I know this doubt will continue for the next 300 pages. When I’m done, I’ll say to myself, “That is the worst novel I’ve ever written.” I’ll tuck it away in folder on my computer. I won’t look at it for a year.
I tell myself to persist, though. Without fail, I open the file at the end of the year and actually like what I’ve written. I say to myself, “Hey, this isn’t half bad. Maybe with a couple dozen edits . . . .” That’s the way it happened with my new adult novel, The Miller’s Daughter. I honestly thought that one was going to do me in. It took me longer to write than anything else I’ve undertaken, and when I finished, I was sure it hadn’t come together at all. Now, it’s my favourite.
Living with the self-doubt has become easy. I know it’s coming before it arrives. I know the lies—you’ll never be able
to finish this one, you’re going to run out of ideas, this MS is never going to come together. So, that little voice chirps out the lies while I keep writing.
I’m not far from the end of my naked scene. I know exactly where the story is going. It’s a terrible story—worst I’ve ever written, but I’ll finish it. In a year, I know I’ll feel differently.
I’ve had new writers tell me they’ve abandoned projects because they don’t think they’re any good. This feeling is normal, but my advice is always the same—trudge ahead. Don’t give up. Maybe it will be terrible, but maybe it will be fantastic. Really, what do you have to lose?
Melinda Friesen 
That’s what I always tell myself, what do I have to lose? Writing a novel is hard, but when you complete it, you’ll feel so good about yourself.
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Exactly! Nothing worthwhile is ever easy.
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I know the feeling well. Most of the time, when I start a new story or novel, I’ll get a few pages in and think, “Well, this is crap.” But, as you said, you have to trudge ahead. The real kiss of death for my work is if I actually LIKE what I’m writing. Then it’s all but guaranteed to never see the light of publication.
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It’s funny how that works. We’re our own worst enemy.
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Case in point, I just received a rejection letter on a story I really like. Guess I should have expected that, right? 😉
Best of luck with that “terrible” novel your writing,
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Yes, you definitely should count on rejection letters, but don’t think, for even a second, that getting rejection letters means it’s not any good. And good luck right back at you!
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Self-doubt is a tough one and such a part of a writer’s life. Thanks for sharing and good luck with the writing!
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It’s part of what’s therapeutic, for me, about writing. I can push through the self-doubt and come out the other side–a skill I can use in every other part of my life. And happy writing to you too!
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That’s a positive way to look at it. 🙂 I think I’ll borrow it! Happy writing to you too!
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